Sắp thành phim rồi

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I’m also lactose-intolerant (đầy bụng), and like most lactose-intolerant people I know, I said f*** it and had a few bites of my dad’s birthday cake with buttercream frosting (lớp phủ kem bơ). Big mistake.

I had been holding in flatulence the ENTIRE time I was doing yoga, which if I do say so myself is quite a feat. I have never been able to fart (đánh rắm) or even say the word fart in front of another human, especially not in front of this particular human that I happened to be in love with.

For this reason, I knew my time in the shower was the only chance I had to release the demonic air bubbles trapped in my intestines.

...I found the tampon and dropped it on the floor.

I leaned down to get it and heard a firm POP and then excruciating (hết sức đau đớn) pain.

After collapsing on the floor, I screamed in shock as if someone had just stabbed one of my Horcruxes with a basilisk fang (nanh rắn thần). There was no way I could position my body to make the shooting fire stop. I ended up naked (trần truồng) and face down on the floor.

After a few minutes of trying to get up and screaming at the shocking level of pain, my girlfriend called 911.

Bài trước: Đã thấy trên phim