Journey in Life: sex
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Friday, January 4, 2019

Không nên vận động mạnh

cảnh báo: durex thu hồi lố bao cao su vì dễ bục rách "trong quá trình sử dụng" :D
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The brand's parent company, RB Health (Canada) Inc., said certain batches of the Durex Real Feel Extra Lubricated 10ct condoms and Durex Real Feel 20 ct condoms didn't pass a "stringent" durability test.

Health Canada issued its own alert, saying the latter batch, specifically, is "not expected to meet the registered burst pressure specification at end of shelf-life."

Batch numbers are visible on the bottom of the box and on the foil wrapping of each condom.


Thursday, December 20, 2018

Lừa tình

một thanh niên florida làm tình (liên tục) với ngựa con (họ hàng của lừa :D)
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In addition to ponying up to having sex four times in a week (4 lần một tuần) with the horse named Jackie G, 21-year-old Citra resident Nicholas Sardo told a detective (trinh thám, thám tử) that “he used a condom (bao cao su) each time because he didn’t want to get a disease (không muốn lây bệnh) from the horse.”

Sardo is charged with four counts of sexual conduct with an animal. His bond (xiềng xích, tù tội) is $4,000.

The sheriff’s office says a family member owns the horse.

Sardo said “he knew he was wrong for what he did and that he was a sick man.”

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Cái giá của sự tò mò

thử thủ dâm nơi công cộng xem thế nào... :D
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...The officer pulled Heinzen over and questioned him about what he was doing in the area, to which Heinzen claimed that he had just turned down the road to turn around because he thought he had left his credit card at home (quên thẻ tín dụng ở nhà).

When questioned further, Heinzen said he was "curious" (tò mò) about masturbating (thủ dâm) in front of the camera (trước camera an ninh) at the water treatment plant (nhà máy xử lý nước) so he drove there, mooned the camera then masturbated while wearing a hat (đội mũ) and napkin around (quấn khăn) his face (quanh mặt), according to the affidavit (bản khai có tuyên thệ).

Heinzen said he did it because he is "dumb" (ngu ngốc, ngớ ngẩn). He was arrested (bắt giữ, bắt giam) on a charge (buộc tội) of indecent exposure (hở hang khiếm nhã).

Lưu ý khi vận hành website bán hàng

hiện phim sex "bố xxx bạn gái tôi" trong mục quà tặng cho cha...
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Shoppers said they were shocked to see the sex film "Dad is f***ing my girlfriend" appear in search results when they browsed the website for an appropriate present for their dad.

Parents fear children could see the 18-rated £16.95 DVD and other sex films on the website as they appear in search results.

The DVD - which was sold by a third-party seller called Meerkat Wholesalers - popped up on screen when you typed "dad gifts" into the search bar.

After The Sun contacted Amazon about the DVD, it removed the title from its website - but other porn films are still listed online.

Bài trước: Tình đồng nghiệp

Monday, December 17, 2018

Tình đồng nghiệp

đi làm vườn ở địa phương, nghỉ ngơi, xem porn, phết thạch quả việt quất lên người, xxx, và còn quay phim lại nữa :)
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Robert Somley, 52, was arrested after a 48-year-old female associate complained that Somley had secretly taken video of her while the two of them were on a break from a job at a local home.

...When she went back into the home this time, she found Somley naked (khỏa thân) and dribbling (chảy nhỏ giọt) maple (cây thích) syrup on his body, police said.

Police said the woman confessed (thú nhận) that this sight was a "turn on" for her and she demanded to be allowed to participate.

In addition to the syrup, police said the couple engaged in foreplay (sự vuốt ve kích thích trước khi giao hợp; màn "khởi động") with blueberry jelly.


Sunday, December 16, 2018

500 anh em nhớ vào lịch

lễ hội đạp xe khỏa thân quốc tế (lớn nhất thế giới) ở edinburgh vào ngày 8/6/2019 :)
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Organisers of a naked bike ride through Edinburgh hope to have dozens of people baring all next summer. The World Naked Bike Ride is an international "bare as you dare" cycle, calling for cleaner and safer streets.

The Edinburgh event is being organised for June 8 next year, pending approval by the city council. An exact route for the cycle is yet to be determined but dozens of riders are expected in various states of undress.

Previous Edinburgh naked bike rides were forced to stay at least partially clothed due to a warning from the police. However organisers say they are confident riders will be allowed to be fully nude this year, following further discussions with the police. It means next year's could be the largest so far.

Bài trước: Sao em nỡ vô tình

Sao em nỡ vô tình

mua trang phục 'người chăn cừu' cho con tham gia lễ hội ở trường, hóa ra đó là 'cừu - đồ chơi tình dục' :D
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Helen Cox, of Alloa, Clackmannanshire, bought her son Alfie the £16.99 fancy (ngon, vui mắt, khác thường, lạ) dress costume (quần áo, y phục, trang phục) on Amazon for his play and he was delighted it came with a blow up sheep.

But she was puzzled (khó hiểu, khó trả lời, vấn đề khó xử, nan giải) when a teacher told him to take the sheep home - until she blew it up and found it had a huge hole in its bottom (lỗ lớn ở đít) - as well as red lips and eyelashes (môi và mi mắt màu đỏ).

Mother-of-two Mrs Cox, 46, found the exact same sheep was on sale as a 'stag night bonkin' sheep' - and is now devising (nghĩ cách) a way to steal (ăn cắp, lấy trộm) it away from unaware Alfie.

Bài trước: Sao em nỡ đành quên

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Sao em nỡ đành quên

bà mẹ đơn thân 22 tuổi 2 con bán đôi giày qua mạng cho một người đàn ông tặng vợ làm quà kỷ niệm ngày cưới,

rồi mới sực nhớ ra là quên 'dương vật giả' ở trong giày :D
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...She wrapped up the boots in a shoe box to send to an unsuspecting man about to give them to his wife as a wedding anniversary present.

Kelly, 22, was then "mortified" when she received a message from the couple about a naughty object she had hidden in one of the boots - a six-inch vibrator.

It wasn't until she received a message from the customer's wife asking 'have you lost something?' along with a picture of her trusty vibrator next to the boots, that she realised her mistake.

Friday, December 14, 2018

Vay tiêu dùng tín chấp

không tin được,

cứ gửi ảnh khỏa thân làm tin, "thế chấp", nhé :D
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Millennials in China Are Using Nudes to Secure Loans

photo credit: YouTube/TomoNews US.

Money lenders offering services like Afterpay are demanding that customers send naked selfies as collateral.

Microloan systems (hệ thống cho vay vi mô) have revolutionised (cách mạng hóa) the way we shop (cách thức chúng ta mua hàng). Desperate for the latest, very slightly updated iPhone? Sign up for a month-to-month plan and break that price tag down into manageable morsels (khẩu phần nhỏ). Always wanted a jacuzzi but too cash poor to front up for it? Sign up to Afterpay and for a series of $10 monthly instalments you could have that tub paid off in 60 years.

It’s the way of the future, and Chinese millennials are diving in headfirst (lao đầu vào). They’re not just using their microloan accounts to buy big ticket items like TVs and Teslas, either—some fintech companies are also letting people pay for small daily purchases like burgers or biscuits on a long-term, monthly instalment basis.

In a country where cost of living is high and the chances of getting a credit card are relatively low, this new form of e-commerce has opened up a world of possibilities for a whole lot of Chinese millennials. Because it’s 2018, though, there’s also a dark side to the system. Sure, you can get a 475 gram box of Oreos and pay it back in monthly instalments of 41 cents over three years, or go jetski-shopping with peanuts to your name. But first you might have to send some nudes.

Bài trước: WHOLESOME!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Chưa đến chợ đã hết tiền

một đôi nứng quá, làm tình ở cây rút tiền ATM :))
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The amorous twosome can be seeing going at it hammer and tongs (dốc hết sức lực, với tất cả sức mạnh; dữ dội) leaving people hoping withdraw cash lost for words.

A man can be seen thrusting down with his female partner facing him on the floor.

The female participant has her legs in the air (chân giơ cao) with her skirt hitched up (tốc váy) while the man has his trousers round his ankles (mắt cá chân).

Bizarrely, however, he appears to have kept his rucksack (cái ba-lô) on for the public tryst (hẹn hò).

The pair seemed completely oblivious (quên, không nhớ tới, mù tịt) to the onlooking crowd as they continued to romp away (nô đùa).

Một ngày của sinh viên 'thế hệ Z' thời 4.0

trần truồng chạy trên sân bóng với bánh quy Oreos nhét ở khe ...ít :D
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Ten football players at a Northern Illinois high school were suspended (bị cấm thi đấu) from the team for three games last month after they ran across a field naked (khỏa thân, trần truồng) with Oreo cookies (bánh quy) wedged (nêm, chêm, chèn, lèn) between their buttocks (mông đít).

The Rockford Register Star reports that the Byron High School players were suspended for indecent exposure but that school administrators concluded they went on the "Oreo Run" at the school's football field voluntarily and were not victims (nạn nhân) of hazing (bắt nạt, ăn hiếp).

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Đã nói không biết bao nhiêu lần

bác sĩ phụ khoa cảnh báo việc chị em dùng tổ ong vò vẽ để... làm khít âm đạo
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Women across the globe have been putting wasp nests (tổ ong vò vẽ) in their genitals (bộ phận sinh dục ngoài) apparently (dường như, có vẻ như) to either tighten (làm khít, thắt chặt) and rejuvenate (làm trẻ/khỏe lại, trẻ hóa) their cooters but now a gynecologist has warned against the practice.

- Jen Gunter warned using grounded wasp nest dries the vagina exposing it to harm
- She also said drying (làm khô) the vaginal mucosa (niêm mạc, màng nhầy) increases the risk of abrasions (trầy da, sự mài mòn) during sex (khi làm tình)
- It also destroys (phá hủy, làm cho sụp đổ; làm hỏng, làm hư) the protective mucous layer (màng nhầy bảo vệ)
- Gunter adviced women to avoid anything that causes a burning sensation when applied on the cooter

Bài trước: Hết sức chú ý

Monday, December 10, 2018

Hết sức chú ý

con trai chim sẽ ngắn hơn 1,3cm nếu bố mẹ nấu bếp bằng chảo không dính nhiều quá... :D
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Scientists have found the chemicals, called PFCs, can interfere (can thiệp) with male hormones and lead to sexual organs being 'significantly' shorter and thinner.

And this effect is not only seen in the womb, the researchers said. PFCs could have toxic effects (tác hại) in teenagers (trẻ vị thành niên), too.

The chemicals, also found in waterproof clothing (áo chống nước) and greaseproof (chống dầu mỡ) packaging (đóng gói) for food, get into the bloodstream (mạch máu) and reduce testosterone levels.

Scientists found young men who grew up in an area polluted with PFCs have penises 12.5 per cent shorter and 6.3 per cent thinner than healthy men.

Bài trước: Chẳng làm gì sai

Friday, December 7, 2018

Chẳng làm gì sai

một người đàn ông bị kiện thủ dâm trước mặt cô gái -> kiện ngược lại là 'sao không ra chỗ khác mà ngồi, lại còn ngồi đấy và tập trung nhìn vào háng ông ta quá' :D
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He’s guilty of nothing more than hitting the anatomical lottery (xổ số giải phẫu học).

An accused subway sicko was acquitted of touching himself on a morning N train after the defense argued the well-endowed defendant was merely adjusting his prodigious (phi thường, kỳ lạ, to lớn, đồ sộ) package through his pants.

...straphanger (hành khách đứng trên xe bus (tàu hỏa...) tay bám vào cái quai treo ở trần, người đi xe bus bằng vé tháng) Alethia Richardson, 32, contacted police after shooting a videotape that allegedly showed Kolaci engaged in hand-to-gland combat (= a very vigorous masturbation session! :).

Richardson turned the camera on herself at one point to express her revulsion (sự khiếp sợ).

“Disrespect. Nasty (dơ dáy, kinh tởm, dâm ô). Pervert (biến thái),” she said into her phone camera before refocusing on Kolaci. Prosecutors agreed, arguing that Kolaci was indeed pleasuring himself.

But at no point did the defendant ever unzip or expose himself.

Defense attorney Cary London, in addition to arguing his client’s innocence (vô tội), charged the accuser was guilty of paying too much attention to Kolaci’s crotch. :))

Bài trước: Sao nỡ lìa xa

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Sao nỡ lìa xa

why say goodbye, why?

ông lão 60 tuổi khát tình, nên thủ dâm và bị tắc chim trong ống nhựa, sau 2 ngày bị sưng phồng mới hết xấu hổ gọi điện cấp cứu bệnh viện và được... cắt để giải thoát :D
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A SEX-STARVED old man had to be cut free after getting his penis trapped in a PVC pipe for two days.

Photo credit thesun.

The 60-year-old, who lives alone in Selangor, Malaysia, was keeping himself entertained with the piece of household equipment last Thursday.

But the 5cm long plastic pipe became stuck on his manhood which began to swell as his blood flow was cut off.

Too embarrassed to call anyone for help, he stayed indoors for 48 hours until he finally called the emergency services on Saturday evening.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Thợ chụp ảnh đám cưới bá đạo nhất năm 2018

làm tình với khách dự tiệc tại khách sạn - nơi tổ chức đám cưới :D
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Katherine Leigh Mehta, 26, has been charged with public intoxication (say) and obstruction/retaliation (trả thù, trả miếng).

Wedding guests allegedly found Mehta, who moonlights (làm đêm ngoài giờ) as a bikini model, having sex with a guest in a room at the Springs Event Venue in Weatherford on Saturday.

The wedding party informed an off-duty sheriff's deputy, who was working security for the ceremony, and Mehta was told her behavior was inappropriate (không thích hợp/phù hợp). 

Mehta, who works under the professional name Max McIntyre and said she was the second place finalist for this year's Maxim Cover Girl...

Thời trang phang thời tiết

ô không cần cầm tay ở nhật bản trông giống như... bao cao su khổng lồ trên đầu :D
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Remember to always use protection (from the rain).

Japan has an extremely convenient and efficient rail network, but in practice going out for the day involves not just riding, but plenty of walking. A 10-minute walk from your home to the nearest station is considered average, and after you get off the train, you’ve still got to hoof it to your final destination.

This makes rainy days a pain in the butt. Using public transportation means having carry a bag with whatever you need for the day, and if you’re also trying to use a map app on your smartphone to navigate Japan’s confusingly unnamed street system, you might end up without a free hand to hold an umbrella and keep the rain off yourself.

The solution, according to online retailer Dospara, is to get an umbrella you don’t need to hold. This week, the company began offering what it calls the Teburagasa, which translates to Hands-Free Umbrella.

...Of course, you can deflect any jeers by reminding people that while both condoms and the Hands-Free Umbrella are designed to block liquids, the thing you have strapped to your skull is to keep it from getting in, not spurting out. :))

Friday, November 30, 2018

Em yếu mềm, vì yêu

Đàn ông không tự tin lắm về nam tính dường như thích Thủ trưởng mình :D, hat tip to Anh Pham,
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From boasting about the size of his penis (khoe khoang kích cỡ "cậu nhỏ") on national television (truyền hình quốc gia) to releasing (công bố, để lộ) records (hồ sơ) of his high testosterone levels, President Trump’s rhetoric (lời nói hoa mỹ, khoa trương; hùng biện) and behavior (hành vi) exude (rỉ, ứa) machismo (nam tính, lòng tự tôn của kẻ nam nhi). His behavior also seems to have struck a chord with (đánh đúng vào tình cảm của ai; gãi đúng chỗ ngữa) some male voters.

...What is 'fragile (mong manh, dễ vỡ) masculinity'?

Research shows that many men feel pressure to look and behave in stereotypically masculine ways — or risk losing their status as "real men." Masculine expectations are socialized from early childhood and can motivate men to embrace traditional male behaviors while avoiding even the hint of femininity. This unforgiving standard of maleness makes some men worry that they're falling short. These men are said to experience "fragile masculinity."

The political process provides a way that fragile men can reaffirm their masculinity. By supporting tough politicians and policies, men can reassure others (and themselves) of their own manliness. For example, sociologist Robb Willer has shown that men whose sense of masculinity was threatened increased their support for aggressive foreign policy (chính sách ngoại giao hiếu chiến).


Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Chắc do biến đổi khí hậu

chúng ta đang ở giữa một cuộc 'suy thoái tình dục' - mọi người ngày càng ít làm tình :)
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...I expect they were busy watching Big Brother. Or texting on their Nokias.

Since the 90s, in the US, the proportion (tỷ lệ) of men who masturbated (thủ dâm) in a given week has doubled to 54% and women to 26%.

I blame vibrator technology (công nghệ dương vật giả) and online porn (phim khiêu dâm trên mạng). Perhaps. There is little evidence that it is addictive, but, as one researcher put it, it might be “taking the edge off” people’s libido (sự ham muốn thú vui xác thịt, dục tình, dục năng).

Most sex happens within couples, but young people are coupling up less  (ít hẹn hò) – that’s another thing. And they are more likely to live with their parents (sống với bố mẹ). Plus they may be nervous about making romantic advances... 17% of Americans aged 18 to 29 believed that a man asking a woman out for a drink “always” or “usually” constituted sexual harrassment (quấy rối tình dục).

Do say: “Perhaps we need a central bank to stimulate the sexual economy.”
Don’t say: “Lowering the price of alcohol ought to do it.”


Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Phi công siêu đẳng

vẽ hình cái CU TO khi đang bay huấn luyện :D
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Maj. Josef Patterson, a spokesman with the unit, told Marine Corps Times: ’The T-34C crew that is being investigated (bị điều tra) for flying a pattern (khuôn mẫu, hình mẫu) resembling (giống) an obscene image (hình ảnh thô tục) are currently not flying pending the results of an ongoing investigation.

photo credit: metro.co.uk.

...To be fair, it was a pretty good drawing, considering they did it in an aircraft (máy bay) flying at hundreds of miles an hour.

One Twitter user noted: ‘On the bright side, this shows how greatly proficient (tài giỏi, thành thạo) these pilots are. They’ve been trained well. ‘We can be proud that our fighter pilots are probably the best in the world, and drawing a penis with this amount of skill, and precision proves it!’

Other social media users were also impressed, with one commenting: ‘It was surgical. Attention to detail (chú ý tới tiểu tiết) is critical in naval aviation.’