Journey in Life: funny
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Ăn bánh không trả tiền

cảnh sát hạt polk vẫn đang truy tìm kẻ trộm nhét bánh sandwich dài 30cm vào quần hồi tháng trước

That's right: A foot-long sub, in his pants.

...He then purchased a drink and left without paying for the sandwich. He fled (lẩn trốn, bỏ trốn) on a bicycle.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Doanh nghiệp “khốn khổ” vì bị chính quyền “làm khó”?

-> chủ doanh nghiệp dựng tượng "ngón tay thối" trước cổng ubnd :D

According to the news station, Pelkey has been in a long-running dispute with the town over red tape that’s preventing him from developing on his property. The man wants to move his recycling business and a truck repair shop from another town to his property to cut down on expenses. Pelkey claims city staff have a personal grudge against him and are creating red tape.

“In my eyes, if somebody tells you they hate you right up front, it’s a hate crime,” Pelkey said to WCAX-TV.

“It’s intended for the people who run the town of Westford,”

Bài trước: Tay ải, tay ai

Không cần cầu thủ chuyền bóng

giải khúc côn cầu trên băng, bóng bật từ... háng trọng tài vào lưới (nhưng bàn thắng không được tính :)

Tim Peel (referee) was sent to the locker room (phòng thay đồ) briefly (trong một thời gian ngắn) during the St. Louis Blues' 4-3 win over the visiting Florida Panthers after taking a puck (bóng khúc côn cầu trên băng) directly off his midsection (phần giữa), sending him crumbling (sụp đổ, tan ra mây khói) to the ice.

It did not affect the outcome of the game (không ảnh hưởng tới kết quả trận đấu), but the would-be goal (bàn thắng) was disallowed (không được tính) because NHL rules prohibit (cấm) goals from being scored (ghi bàn) if the puck deflected (chệch hướng) off an official and directly into the net. And judging by Peel's pained reaction, the puck certainly struck the 52-year-old veteran official.

The incident (vụ việc, vụ tai nạn) occurred (xảy ra) at the 5:37 mark of the first period (hiệp một). From outside the blue line, Blues defenseman  (cầu thủ phòng ngự) Robert Bartuzzo fired in a pass (đường chuyền) that was intended (dự định) to go around the net, but instead slammed (đâm sầm vào) into Peel, who was in the corner. The puck bounced (nảy) toward the goal and slipped (trượt qua) in past Panthers netminder (thủ môn) Roberto Luongo's skate (pa-tanh, giầy trượt băng, lưỡi trượt).

Giáng sinh độc đáo

bà mẹ đơn thân 23 tuổi làm cây thông noel từ găng tay y tế :), ảnh đây,

Support worker Maxine Oliver, 23, said she faced a tough November with few shifts (ca kíp làm), and feared she may have to cancel Christmas altogether. But the mom-of-one came up with an ingenious (khéo léo, tài tình, mưu trí) way of keeping costs down and bringing festive (thuộc về/liên quan đến lễ hội, ngày hội) joy (sự vui mừng, niềm hân hoan) to her family — with a handmade tree costing just 2 pounds, or around $2.50.

Oliver started on it when her son Charlie went to bed at 7.30 p.m. and worked right through until 5 a.m. It was made out of Oliver’s own medical gloves, along with ornaments (đồ trang trí) made from cupcake cups found at the back of the cupboard, handmade Christmas presents decorated (trang trí, trang hoàng) with candy wrappers (giấy gói kẹo), and hanging decorations made from paper and tin foil (giấy thiếc bọc thức ăn).

Bài trước: Giáng sinh buồn

Giáng sinh buồn

2 ni cô bị buộc tội vì biển thủ 500.000 usd tiền của trường dòng

The figure represents only what auditors (kiểm toán viên) have been able to trace in six years’ of bank records (hồ sơ ngân hàng) and might not include other cash transactions (giao dịch tiền mặt).

The apparent scandal came to light last week when the church’s small, K-8 school announced that it had notified police that Sister Mary Margaret Kreuper, and Sister Lana Chang, who both had retired earlier this year, were “involved in the personal use of a substantial amount of school funds.” But the nuns had expressed (bày tỏ) remorse (ăn năn, hối hận), and the archdiocese (tổng giám mục) and the church were not pursuing criminal charges (tội hình sự).

Kreuper was the school’s principal (hiệu trưởng), and Chang taught there.

Michael Meyers, the church’s monsignor (đức cha, giáo sĩ cao cấp trong giáo hội công giáo la mã), told the crowd of a few hundred people that the archdiocese launched an internal investigation (điều tra nội bộ) six months ago after the organization performed a standard audit of procedures ahead of Kreuper’s retirement after 28 years at the school.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Lý do bạn không nên nuôi vẹt

"vô tình" đặt hàng liên tục ở amazon bằng cách ra lệnh cho alexa,

-> có thật là "vô tình" không ta :)


So far, the African Grey has 'bought' a range of fruit and veg – including water melons (dưa hấu), raisins (nho khô) and broccoli (súp lơ xanh) – ice cream, a light bulb and even a kite (cái diều).

Rocco was rehomed from the National Animal Welfare Trust sanctuary (khu bảo tồn động vật hoang dã) in Berkshire because staff feared his use of swear words (chửi thề) would upset (làm khó chịu) visitors.

Sanctuary worker Marion Wischnewski volunteered to foster him and took him to her home in Blewbury, Oxfordshire.

But he has since been using her Amazon Echo to order all the things he likes to eat.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Mùa đông của anh

ở trong tù và xem phim 'bambi' vì giết hàng trăm con hươu trong 3 năm qua...

A Missouri poacher (người săn trộm/câu trộm; người xâm phạm (quyền lợi của người khác)) involved in the illegal killing of “several hundred deer” over three years, taking their heads and leaving their bodies to rot (mục nát, thối rữa), must watch the Disney classic “Bambi” once a month while he remains behind bars (sau song sắt), a judge reportedly ruled.

David Berry Jr. was one of three men from a southwest Missouri family convicted in what the state’s Conservation Department called one of its “largest conservation cases involving the illegal taking of deer.”

After pleading guilty, Berry Jr. was sentenced to one year in jail in Lawrence County on Dec. 6. The 29-year-old was also sentenced to 120 days in jail in a nearby county for a felony (trọng tội (giết người, cưỡng bức)) firearms probation (tù treo, án treo) violation.

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Trí tuệ nhân tạo AI là gì? Ứng dụng như thế nào trong cuộc sống?

phát hiện "hách từ trong nôi" và nhắc chủ nhân thay áo :D

Sticky public transport and sweltering offices leave many worrying they have body odour.

But new AI technology may mean people no longer have to 'subtly' sniff their armpits to check for foul odours.

Cambridge-based manufacturer Arm - which develops the hardware in smartphones - is creating a smart chip that can 'smell'.

The 'e-nose' identifies the dozens of gassy chemicals behind human stench before ranking the scent from one to five - so people know whether it is time to reapply their deodorant...

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Cái giá của sự nổi tiếng

tìm kiếm từ "ngu dốt", google trả về kết quả là ảnh donald trump :D

In a House Judiciary Committee hearing today, Google CEO Sundar Pichai was asked to explain why a Google image search for “idiot” (thằng ngốc, ngu dốt, lú) turned up pictures of Donald Trump — and whether that was a case of intentional bias (thiên vị cố ý).

The question came from Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D-CA), who was trying to refute (bác bỏ, bắt bẻ) the idea that Google is politically manipulating (thao túng về chính trị) search results (kết quả tìm kiếm).

Pichai offered a long, general explanation of how Google search works:

Any time you type in a keyword, as Google we have gone out and crawled and stored copies of billions of [websites’] pages in our index. And we take the keyword and match it against their pages and rank them based on over 200 signals — things like relevance, freshness, popularity, how other people are using it. And based on that, at any given time, we try to rank and find the best search results for that query. And then we evaluate them with external raters, and they evaluate it to objective guidelines. And that’s how we make sure the process is working.

...Trump isn’t the first president to get Google-bombed: in the mid-2000s, searches for “miserable failure” (thất bại thảm hại) famously returned results about President George W. Bush.

Cái giá của "tự sướng"

số người chết vì chụp ảnh selfie còn nhiều hơn bị cá mập tấn công

Selfies became all the rage (mốt thịnh hành) in the early part of the century, when smartphones with forward-facing cameras first hit the market. And their popularity has been explosive; last year, some 24 billion selfies were uploaded to Google Photos.

But this trend has been accompanied by a more tragic (bi kịch, thảm thương) one. In 2014, 15 people died while taking a selfie; in 2015 this rose to 39, and in 2016 there were 73 deaths in the first eight months of the year. That’s more selfie deaths than deaths due to shark attacks (cá mập tấn công, cá mập cắn).

...It turns out that most deaths occurred in India—76 of them, more than half of the total. The team also found that the most common cause of death was falling from a height. This reflects the penchant (sự thích thú, thiên hướng) for people taking selfies at the edge of cliffs (vách đá, nhô ra biển), at the top of tall structures, and so on. Water also accounts for a large number of deaths. And a significant number involve water and heights—things like jumping into the sea from a height and so on.

Interestingly, in India, trains feature significantly as a cause of selfie death. “This trend caters to the belief that posing on or next to train tracks (đường ray tàu hỏa) with their best friend (bạn thân) is regarded as romantic (lãng mạn) and a sign of never-ending friendship (tình bạn vững bền),” they say.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Tài xế xe buýt liều mạng

dùng lưỡi liếm trán, vãi đạn :D

While some consider licking their nose with their tongue as a mean feat (kỳ công, kỳ tích, ngón điêu luyện), this man takes his 'talent' to a whole new level.

But the 35-year-old bus driver from Urlabari, Nepal, tries not to do it often - because he scares the kids.

Although by day Yagya works as staff on a local school bus, his amazing ability has made him a celebrity (người nổi tiếng) in his country.

This comes after his friend posted a video of him showing off his tongue skills on social media.

Yagya claims he has the world's longest tongue (lưỡi dài nhất thế giới) and is the only person in the world that can lick his forehead (trán).

Bài trước: Cười hơi sớm

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Cười hơi sớm

thanh niên cười vào mũi cảnh sát vì khám mà ko thấy ma túy,

sau đó, bị bắt lại, lột truồng -> hóa ra giấu cocain dưới da quy đầu :D

James Mason told the officers, ‘ha ha, told you I had f*** all on us you mugs’, when they searched him after a disturbance at a student accommodation block. But the 21-year-old was taken to the police station anyway for being drunk and disorderly ‘after one too many swear words’.

...On the way to the station in Newcastle the officers noticed Mason fiddling (nghịch vớ vẩn, làm trò vớ vẩn) with his sock (tất, vớ) and putting his hand down his trousers (quần dài). They handcuffed (còng số 8) him ‘to stop him messing with his clothes’ and put in a request to strip search him when they got to the police station. He was then strip-searched at the station, where he ‘removed his trousers, pulled back his foreskin and pulled a white bag of powder from his penis (dương vật)’.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

May quá chúng không nghe lời

người đàn ông 'điên điên khùng khùng' ra lệnh cho báo ăn thịt nhân viên sở thú :)

Police say a man was wandering (đi thơ thẩn, lang thang) through Dickerson Park Zoo Tuesday night after it had closed, acting odd (kỳ cục, kỳ quặc) and refusing to leave.

Joseph L. Binford, 37, was flailing (vụt, quật) his arms about and talking to people who weren't there.

When a zookeeper (nhân viên sở thú) confronted (đe dọa, đương đầu) him, the man allegedly (bị cáo buộc) commanded (ra lệnh) the zoo animals to eat the zookeeper. The animals — identified by a zoo spokeswoman as cheetahs (báo) — ignored his commands.

Two officers responded to the zoo and they found Binford on a grassy hill. He was screaming unrecognizable (không thể nhận ra) statements (tuyên bố, bày tỏ, trình bày) about "God" and "Lucifer," while holding a silver object in each hand.

Police commanded Binford to drop the objects, but Binford, like the cheetahs, did not obey commands. Instead, Binford ran up to one of the officers and hurled the silver object — later determined to be a dinner fork (cái dĩa) — at him.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Tiết kiệm năng lượng - hiểu đúng để làm đúng

rắm của côn trùng góp phần sinh ra năng lượng tái tạo ở mỹ :D

It’s true! And in the case of the 85 percent power generated by the methane gas captured from micro-organisms at the Joint Meeting of Union and Essex Counties wastewater treatment plant (nhà máy xử lý chất thải) in Elizabeth, part of the “food” the bugs digest is collected from grease traps at Rutgers University.

Known as FOG (fats, oils and grease), the byproduct is collected by Russell Reid, an industrial waste management company in the Keasbey section of Woodbridge, carted from university dining halls, offloaded at the treatment plant, and served to millions microscopic critters.

The process has large environmental and economic impacts,

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Hết cả hứng đọc sách

vì đồng nghiệp cứ tiết lộ cái kết của sách đang đọc -> đâm luôn :D

Savitsky has told Russian investigators (nhà điều tra) that he saw red and attacked Beloguzov with a kitchen knife when he once again ruined the ending. His colleague is now reportedly in intensive care (điều trị tích cực) in hospital after being treated for a stab wound to the heart (tim). 

Savitsky is now back at home in St Petersburg under house arrest (quản thúc tại gia) after being charged with attempted murder. It is believed to the first time that a man has been charged with such a crime on the world’s loneliest continent (lục địa cô đơn nhất thế giới).

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Xử lý tã giấy bẩn đúng cách

đừng để ở ngã tư trong gần một năm như trò đùa

William Friedman, 68, of Newfield, was spotted making his latest drop around 3:15 a.m. Sunday, police said. He was processed and issued multiple township ordinances (sắc lệnh, quy định).

Police could count on Friedman to be regular (bình thường, thông thường).

"He would do it at least three times a week at different intersections (chỗ giao nhau, chỗ cắt ngang)," said Lt. Matthew DeCesari of the Franklin Township Police Department. "He would do it a couple of months in one area and then move to a different intersection. We could never get a time down."

But officer Garrett Moretti thought he recently had detected somewhat of a pattern (khuôn mẫu), so he decided to patrol (tuần tra) the area around routes 47 and 40 early Sunday. That's when he saw the driver of a box truck drop a load of soiled diapers (tã bẩn) in the roadway.

Bài trước: Oái, đau quá

Oái, đau quá

sóc bị kẹt hai hòn dái ở hàng rào :D

David Prince was walking with his son on Monday when he found the rodent (loài gặm nhấm) clinging to a wooden barrier in peculiar (lạ kỳ, khác thường) fashion.

Looking closer, he was stunned (kinh ngạc, choáng váng, sững sờ) to see the squirrel (con sóc) had somehow managed to wedge (nêm, chèn, lèn) his crown jewels between two planks.

Moving to the other side of the fence (hàng rào), the squirrel can be seen frantically trying to free itself.

...After being taken aback by the strange scene, David tried to free the critter.

'I used a stick to pry his nuts up to the top of the fence,' he said. 'I broke one stick trying and we also tried to pry the fence apart. 'He ran off into the bushes (bụi cây, bụi rậm) and haven't seen him since.'

Bài trước: Eo, mùi gì kinh thế?

Eo, mùi gì kinh thế?

gạch làm từ nước tiểu

The bio-brick was produced by students from Cape Town, who collected urine from specially designed male urinals (bô, bình đái, chỗ đi tiểu) at the university’s engineering building and mixed it with sand and bacteria.

Bio-bricks are made in moulds (khuôn) at room temperature (nhiệt độ phòng), removing the need for high temperature kilns. Nitrogen and potassium, which are crucial for commercial fertilisers, are created as by-products during the process.

...Bio-bricks are created through a natural process called microbial carbonate precipitation, said Randall, similar to the way seashells are formed. Loose sand, which has been colonised with bacteria that produces urease, is mixed with the urine. Urease breaks down the urea in the urine, producing calcium carbonate, which cements the sand into shape.

While regular bricks are kiln-fired at temperatures of 1,400C and produce large amounts of carbon dioxide, the bio-bricks do not require heat.

Bài trước: Thân thật

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Thân thật

vì tò mò, chó cảnh tí nữa thiêu rụi nhà của chủ

A Detroit resident's home security camera captured the moment their dog turned on the oven (lò) and caused a box of soft drinks to explode (nổ).

The resident said no humans were home about 9 a.m. Monday when her dogs wandered (đi thơ thẩn, lang thang) into the kitchen.

"Normally the dogs are blocked out of the kitchen, but they somehow pushed the gates through and made their way inside," the resident said.

...They said the dogs were lucky the incident (việc bất ngờ/tình cờ xảy ra) wasn't worse.

"Luckily, the fire remained lit and no gas poured out into the house," the person said.

Bài trước: Thân thế

Thân thế

cùng đi săn, chó bắn chủ gần chết

Charlie's still a good dog.

That's what Sonny "Tex" Gilligan said days after Charlie — his 120-pound Rottweiler mix — accidentally shot him.

Gilligan, 74, a Doña Ana County resident, told the Sun-News that Charlie and his two other dogs — Scooter and Cowboy — went with him to hunt for jackrabbits (thỏ rừng tai to) in the desert west of Las Cruces on Thursday, Oct. 25.

Gilligan was in the driver's seat of his parked pickup truck, along with the dogs, when he was shot.

"Charlie got his foot in the trigger (cò súng) of the gun and I leaned forward and he slipped off the seat and caught the trigger — and it shot," Gilligan said. "It was a freak accident but it's true, that's what happened."

The shotgun — in the backseat of the pickup, along with Charlie — fired through Gilligan's front driver's seat. The bullet went through Gilligan's back, breaking a few ribs (sườn) and shattering (đập vỡ, làm vỡ tan) his collar bone (xương đòn), and caused other, severe injuries.