Journey in Life: funny
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, November 19, 2018

Tiết kiệm năng lượng - hiểu đúng để làm đúng

rắm của côn trùng góp phần sinh ra năng lượng tái tạo ở mỹ :D
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It’s true! And in the case of the 85 percent power generated by the methane gas captured from micro-organisms at the Joint Meeting of Union and Essex Counties wastewater treatment plant (nhà máy xử lý chất thải) in Elizabeth, part of the “food” the bugs digest is collected from grease traps at Rutgers University.

Known as FOG (fats, oils and grease), the byproduct is collected by Russell Reid, an industrial waste management company in the Keasbey section of Woodbridge, carted from university dining halls, offloaded at the treatment plant, and served to millions microscopic critters.

The process has large environmental and economic impacts,

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Hết cả hứng đọc sách

vì đồng nghiệp cứ tiết lộ cái kết của sách đang đọc -> đâm luôn :D
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Savitsky has told Russian investigators (nhà điều tra) that he saw red and attacked Beloguzov with a kitchen knife when he once again ruined the ending. His colleague is now reportedly in intensive care (điều trị tích cực) in hospital after being treated for a stab wound to the heart (tim). 

Savitsky is now back at home in St Petersburg under house arrest (quản thúc tại gia) after being charged with attempted murder. It is believed to the first time that a man has been charged with such a crime on the world’s loneliest continent (lục địa cô đơn nhất thế giới).

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Xử lý tã giấy bẩn đúng cách

đừng để ở ngã tư trong gần một năm như trò đùa
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William Friedman, 68, of Newfield, was spotted making his latest drop around 3:15 a.m. Sunday, police said. He was processed and issued multiple township ordinances (sắc lệnh, quy định).

Police could count on Friedman to be regular (bình thường, thông thường).

"He would do it at least three times a week at different intersections (chỗ giao nhau, chỗ cắt ngang)," said Lt. Matthew DeCesari of the Franklin Township Police Department. "He would do it a couple of months in one area and then move to a different intersection. We could never get a time down."

But officer Garrett Moretti thought he recently had detected somewhat of a pattern (khuôn mẫu), so he decided to patrol (tuần tra) the area around routes 47 and 40 early Sunday. That's when he saw the driver of a box truck drop a load of soiled diapers (tã bẩn) in the roadway.

Bài trước: Oái, đau quá

Oái, đau quá

sóc bị kẹt hai hòn dái ở hàng rào :D
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David Prince was walking with his son on Monday when he found the rodent (loài gặm nhấm) clinging to a wooden barrier in peculiar (lạ kỳ, khác thường) fashion.

Looking closer, he was stunned (kinh ngạc, choáng váng, sững sờ) to see the squirrel (con sóc) had somehow managed to wedge (nêm, chèn, lèn) his crown jewels between two planks.

Moving to the other side of the fence (hàng rào), the squirrel can be seen frantically trying to free itself.

...After being taken aback by the strange scene, David tried to free the critter.

'I used a stick to pry his nuts up to the top of the fence,' he said. 'I broke one stick trying and we also tried to pry the fence apart. 'He ran off into the bushes (bụi cây, bụi rậm) and haven't seen him since.'

Bài trước: Eo, mùi gì kinh thế?

Eo, mùi gì kinh thế?

gạch làm từ nước tiểu
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The bio-brick was produced by students from Cape Town, who collected urine from specially designed male urinals (bô, bình đái, chỗ đi tiểu) at the university’s engineering building and mixed it with sand and bacteria.

Bio-bricks are made in moulds (khuôn) at room temperature (nhiệt độ phòng), removing the need for high temperature kilns. Nitrogen and potassium, which are crucial for commercial fertilisers, are created as by-products during the process.

...Bio-bricks are created through a natural process called microbial carbonate precipitation, said Randall, similar to the way seashells are formed. Loose sand, which has been colonised with bacteria that produces urease, is mixed with the urine. Urease breaks down the urea in the urine, producing calcium carbonate, which cements the sand into shape.

While regular bricks are kiln-fired at temperatures of 1,400C and produce large amounts of carbon dioxide, the bio-bricks do not require heat.

Bài trước: Thân thật

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Thân thật

vì tò mò, chó cảnh tí nữa thiêu rụi nhà của chủ
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A Detroit resident's home security camera captured the moment their dog turned on the oven (lò) and caused a box of soft drinks to explode (nổ).

The resident said no humans were home about 9 a.m. Monday when her dogs wandered (đi thơ thẩn, lang thang) into the kitchen.

"Normally the dogs are blocked out of the kitchen, but they somehow pushed the gates through and made their way inside," the resident said.

...They said the dogs were lucky the incident (việc bất ngờ/tình cờ xảy ra) wasn't worse.

"Luckily, the fire remained lit and no gas poured out into the house," the person said.

Bài trước: Thân thế

Thân thế

cùng đi săn, chó bắn chủ gần chết
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Charlie's still a good dog.

That's what Sonny "Tex" Gilligan said days after Charlie — his 120-pound Rottweiler mix — accidentally shot him.

Gilligan, 74, a Doña Ana County resident, told the Sun-News that Charlie and his two other dogs — Scooter and Cowboy — went with him to hunt for jackrabbits (thỏ rừng tai to) in the desert west of Las Cruces on Thursday, Oct. 25.

Gilligan was in the driver's seat of his parked pickup truck, along with the dogs, when he was shot.

"Charlie got his foot in the trigger (cò súng) of the gun and I leaned forward and he slipped off the seat and caught the trigger — and it shot," Gilligan said. "It was a freak accident but it's true, that's what happened."

The shotgun — in the backseat of the pickup, along with Charlie — fired through Gilligan's front driver's seat. The bullet went through Gilligan's back, breaking a few ribs (sườn) and shattering (đập vỡ, làm vỡ tan) his collar bone (xương đòn), and caused other, severe injuries.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Thiết đầu công thời hiện đại

một anh chàng parkistan dùng đầu đập vỡ 243 quả óc chó trong một phút, phá kỷ lục guiness của một anh ấn độ (217 quả),

báo ko nói anh này chưa vợ hay đã ly hôn :D
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A Pakistani martial artist used his head to crack 243 walnuts, besting a Guinness World Record set earlier this year.

Mohammad Rashid Naseem, 32, of Karachi, posted a video to Facebook showing his official Guinness World Record attempt for most walnuts cracked against the head in one minute.

Naseem beat the previous Guinness record, which was set by Indian man S. Navin Kumar in September when he crushed 217 walnuts with his head.

Bài trước: Tương lai là đây

Monday, October 15, 2018

Tương lai là đây

nhân bản chuột từ... cứt
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...scientists from the University of Yamanashi in Japan decribed their attempts to clone (tái sinh bằng phương pháp vô tính, nhân bản) mice (chuột) from feces (phân). As you can imagine, the process was a little messy.

Lead author Satoshi Kamimura and his colleagues aimed to use nuclear transfer to accomplish the feat. This is the same strategy (chiến lược) previously (trước đây) utilized (được dùng/sử dụng) to clone Dolly the Sheep in 1996, as well as two monkeys earlier this year.

The researchers first attempted to collect cells from the surface of mice droppings (phân). A process of harvesting, centrifuging (ly tâm, phân cách), mixing in solution (dung dịch hòa tan), and centrifuging again yielded what the authors termed "cell-like bodies." Kamimura and his team hoped that most of these were epidermal cells from the mice intestines,...

"Feces cells might be useful for the conservation (bảo tồn) of endangered species (động vật quý hiếm có nguy cơ tuyệt chủng) when technical improvements are achieved," the researchers say.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Đừng tỏ ra quá thân thiện

nhân viên an ninh tại sân bay ấn độ bị cấm 'không được cười với du khách', vì như vậy dễ khiến họ lầm tưởng an ninh lỏng lẻo
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This is over concerns cheerfulness (hoan hỉ, vui vẻ, phấn khởi) could lead to a perception of lax (lỏng lẻo, không chặt chẽ) security and a threat (lời đe dọa, hăm dọa) of terror (khủng bố) attacks (tấn công).

The country's Central Industrial Security Force, which is in charge of aviation safety, wants its staff to be "more vigilant (cảnh giác, thận trọng) than friendly (thân thiện)".

They will move from a "broad smile system" to a "sufficient smile system", the Indian Express says.

Officials are said to believe that excessive friendliness puts airports at risk of terrorist attacks.

The organisation's director general, Rajesh Ranjan even said the 9/11 attacks had taken place because of "an excessive reliance on passenger-friendly features".


Thursday, October 11, 2018

Ảo tưởng tay trắng làm nên sự nghiệp

ảo lắm,

đến donald trump, tổng thống tỷ phú, cũng là của bố cho mà thôi
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...

Bí mật về tỷ phú tự thân

New York Times đã thống kê 295 nguồn tiền khác nhau mà ông Fred Trump đã lập ra trong hơn 50 năm để chuyển tài sản cho con trai.

Tuy nhiên mối quan hệ giữa Donald Trump và cha của mình không chỉ đơn thuần là nhằm duy trì khối tài sản khổng lồ của gia đình Trump. Họ cùng nhau tham gia vào một kế hoạch tham vọng hơn, đó là tạo ra huyền thoại về Donald J. Trump - một tỷ phú tự thân lập nghiệp. Trong khi ông Fred Trump lặng lẽ ở phía sau cánh gà để làm “đối tác thầm lặng”, giúp đỡ con trai về mặt tài chính, bản thân ông Donald Trump tự xây dựng cho mình một câu chuyện lôi cuốn về tỷ phú tự thân.

Một ví dụ điển hình cho sự hợp tác giữa ông Fred Trump và con trai là dự án Tháp Trump - công trình làm nên tên tuổi của Donald Trump tại New York. Trong khi ông Fred Trump rót tiền để giúp xây dựng Tháp Trump, con trai ông đã xem đây là công trình ghi dấu ấn của mình và khai thác hình ảnh quyền lực của Tháp Trump trong cả chương trình “Người tập sự”, chương trình truyền hình thực tế ăn khách gắn liền với tên tuổi của Donald Trump, cũng như trong chiến dịch tranh cử tổng thống.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Hóa đơn đâu?

quản lý một cửa hàng đã bị sa thải vì giữ một phụ nữ và tra hỏi "giấu gì dưới váy" -> "một cặp song sinh" bà mẹ mang thai trả lời.
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Sherell Bates tells WSOC-TV she was paying for back-to-school supplies (dụng cụ học tập ngày khai giảng) Friday when a police officer had her step aside and explain what was under her shirt. Bates says she responded that she’s 34 weeks pregnant (mang thai) with a boy and a girl, but he didn’t believe her. So she lifted up her shirt to expose (để lộ, hở) her belly (bụng).

Staples says the manager apologized (xin lỗi) and her purchases were refunded (hoàn tiền).

Says Bates: “No mom should have to go through that.”

Staples subsequently said in a statement Monday that the manager of the Pineville store “did not follow correct protocol” (không theo đúng quy trình (phép tắc xã giao)) and was fired (sa thải).

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

“Thú tội”: Đáng thương hay đáng trách?

ni cô buôn lậu cocain ở gót giầy...
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A Missouri nun (nữ tu sĩ, ni cô) smuggled (buôn lậu) 2 pounds of cocaine into Australia using her high heels (giầy/guốc cao gót) — but claims she was duped (bịp, lừa) into the act by a man she met online.

Denise Marie Woodrum, 51, was caught arriving into Sydney Airport last August while making her way through customs — when officers discovered the drugs stuffed into the heels of her shoes. But her lawyer, Rebecca Neil, told District Court Judge Penelope Wass last week that the items were meant for a mystery man Woodrum had met online named Hendrik Cornelius.

...After a failed marriage (hôn nhân đổ vỡ) and major health problems that led to crippling (làm tê liệt, làm lụn bại) bills (hóa đơn, chi phí), Woodrum, a sister of the Adorers of the Blood of Christ, a religious order based in Kansas, believed she had met someone special online...

Friday, August 3, 2018

Người Mỹ bốn phương

quá béo phì khiến lừa ở đảo du lịch santorini, hy lạp sụn cả lưng
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The Greek island of Santorini is known for its stunning views, steeps hills, and tradition of using donkeys as the main form of transportation. While most tourists love traveling the island on a donkey, activists are now saying visitors from the U.S. and Europe are too fat to sit on the animals.

...“Locals have even started breeding their donkeys with stronger mules so it is easier for them to carry fatter tourists,”

“It’s recommended that animals should carry no more than 20 percent of their own body weight,” a spokesman for Help the Santorini Donkeys told the Daily Mail. “The obese and overweight tourists, combined with the lack of shade and water as well as the sheer heat and 568 cobbled steps, is what is causing such a problem.”

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Nhện "không cánh mà biết bay"

dùng điện thôi
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spiders can fly, electrostatic (liên quan đến tĩnh điện) energy (năng lượng)!

Spiders have no wings, but they can take to the air nonetheless. They’ll climb to an exposed point, raise their abdomens (bụng dưới) to the sky, extrude (đẩy ra; chế tạo bằng cách đùn chất dẻo (nhựa, kim loại nóng chảy) qua miệng ống) strands (sợi tơ) of silk, and float away. This behavior is called ballooning. It might carry spiders away from predators (động vật ăn thịt, dã thú; người lợi dụng người khác (nhất là về (tài chính) và tình dục) and competitors (đối thủ), or toward new lands with abundant resources. But whatever the reason for it, it’s clearly an effective means of travel. Spiders have been found two-and-a-half miles up in the air, and 1,000 miles out to sea.

...spiders can sense the Earth’s electric field, and use it to launch themselves into the air.

Every day, around 40,000 thunderstorms (bão có sấm sét và thường mưa to) crackle (kêu răng rắc, kêu lốp bốp) around the world, collectively turning Earth’s atmosphere (khí quyển) into a giant electrical circuit (mạch điện khổng lồ). The upper reaches of the atmosphere have a positive charge, and the planet’s surface has a negative one. Even on sunny days with cloudless skies, the air carries a voltage of around 100 volts for every meter above the ground. In foggy or stormy conditions, that gradient might increase to tens of thousands of volts per meter.

Ballooning spiders operate within this planetary electric field. When their silk leaves their bodies, it typically picks up a negative charge. This repels the similar negative charges on the surfaces on which the spiders sit, creating enough force to lift them into the air. And spiders can increase those forces by climbing onto twigs, leaves, or blades of grass. Plants, being earthed, have the same negative charge as the ground that they grow upon, but they protrude into the positively charged air. This creates substantial electric fields between the air around them and the tips of their leaves and branches—and the spiders ballooning from those tips.


Sunday, July 22, 2018

Đông Phương bất bại thời hiện đại

người đàn ông với 90% cơ thể là hình xăm, đã quyết định 'cắt chim' vì 'cái ấy' khiến toàn bộ hình xăm không trọn vẹn :D
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Adam Curlykale, 32, from Kaliningrad in Russia, decided to start tattooing his body, including his eyeballs, with black ink after he was diagnosed with cancer (ung thư) 12 years ago. The 32-year-old, who also has albinism (bạch tạng), says he started tattooing himself because he felt depressed by his pale skin.

And after getting almost 90% of his body covered, Adam felt that his penis (dương vật) ruined his look so he paid to undergo the extreme surgery. He has now shared pictures with his fans on social media after having his penis, nipples (núm vú) and testicles (tinh hoàn) removed.


Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Vì sao nên ngủ dưới gầm giường?

đang ngủ thì bị con trăn dài 2 mét rơi từ trên trần xuống người
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A central New York man got a rude awakening when a large snake fell from his bedroom ceiling and landed on him while he slept.

The state Department of Environmental Conservation says Wednesday that one of its officers responded to a call on June 29 from a man who says a snake had fallen on him while he was sleeping in his apartment in the Oswego County village of Pulaski, which is about 35 miles north of Syracuse.

DEC officials say the officer determined a 6-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor (trăn Mỹ nhiệt đới) had escaped its enclosure in an apartment.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Máy bay và các chuyến bay: sự thật kỳ lạ ít ai biết

rất nhiều rắm :D
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On a BA flight from London to Singapore, there would be roughly 368 litres of fart expelled into the air

Jacob Rosenberg, a clinical professor at the University of Copenhagen, made the discovery after noticing that his stomach (dạ dày) had bloated (phồng lên, sưng lên, phù lên) on a long-haul flight to New Zealand.

After clocking that his empty water bottle had expanded (nở ra, phồng ra) during the flight, then crumpled (bị ép thành nhiều nếp, hoặc vò nhau) when it came back down to earth, he realised that the same could apply to his stomach. He told the BBC: “The pressure drops and the air must expand into more space.” According to Jacob, the gas sitting inside the stomach then expands by 30 per cent… and it needs to go somewhere.

...The average person lets out between 0.5 and 1.5 litres of fart a day according to Kyle Staller, M.D., a gastroenterologist (bác sĩ chuyên khoa dạ dày-ruột) at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Monday, July 2, 2018

Làm gì khi bị nuốt thẻ ATM?

đập vỡ màn hình luôn,

đói quá, muốn rút tiền mua bánh mà bị nuốt thẻ :(
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Just after midnight (nửa đêm) on May 31, Hayden Caskey, 26, decided to he wanted a pie (bánh nướng, bánh hấp) and attempted to withdraw some cash from an ATM in Hāwera to purchase one, police prosecutor sergeant (trung sĩ) Steve Hickey said.

Caskey was heavily intoxicated (say, say sưa) at the time.

When the ATM "ate" his card and requested he contact the bank, Caskey became enraged (giận điên lên, điên tiết, nổi khùng) and began punching (đấm, thoi) the machine with his fists (nắm đấm). He then smashed (đập vỡ ra từng mảnh) a glass bottle against it.

Caskey completely destroyed the perspex (kính pecpêch) used to house the ATM computer and also damaged the ATM itself, leaving it inoperable (không hoạt động được).

He then left the scene (rời khỏi hiện trường).

Bài trước: Singapore cũng loạn

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Singapore cũng loạn

2 người đánh nhau để giành quyền... đi đái, chiếc bồn đái cuối cùng ở ga mrt chỗ geylang :D
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The police said they were alerted to a call for assistance at 8.20pm at 81 Lorong 25 Geylang.

In photos sent to citizen journalism site Stomp, at least three police officers were seen confronting a group of men.

The two men were arguing over whose turn it was to use the last available urinal (bồn tiểu) in the toilet, said the netizen who sent the photo to Stomp and was only identified as Leonard.

"It escalated into a big fight, from inside the toilet to outside, that also involved the men's respective companions.

Bài trước: Do lười mà thôi