Journey in Life: funny

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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Friday, November 27, 2020

Vẫn chưa hiểu tại sao?

hươu tấn công thợ săn và lấy súng chạy vào rừng... :D

...The man said one of the hunting dogs in his group startled (làm giật mình) a stag (hươu đực) in a wooded area, causing the panicked (hoảng hốt) deer to run directly toward him.

The deer's antlers ripped the man's sleeve and ended up snagged on his .22 Hornet rifle, which had been slung over his left hand at the time.

The animal ran off into the woods with the hunter's unloaded (tháo đạn) gun (súng) still attached to its antlers,

Bài trước: Lên tầm cao mới

Lên tầm cao mới

ăn mặc như chuột khổng lồ thay cho... khẩu trang...

“Buddy the Rat” — aka performance artist Jonothon Lyons — has been boring seen-it-all subway riders a lot these days as he perches on seats in all his rodent (loài gặm nhấm) regalia (những biểu chương, y phục của nhà vua), including a full-face mask and a long pink tail.

But TikTok loves him.

“Oh NYC is dead? Explain this,” self-described comedy writer Alison Williams posted on Twitter over a TikTok video of the human rodent boarding a No. 1 at 42nd Street that’s going viral.

Lyons, who wears a suit and nice shoes, plus gloves on his hands as he crawls (bò, trườn, lê bước), has posted about 30 other TikTok videos, and appeared in a few filmed by passersby (người qua đường), including one where he scampered (chạy vụt, chạy vội vàng, chạy láo nháo) across a city street.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Mua xổ số thật phí tiền

ông bố 3 con ở indonesia thành triệu phú vì thiên thạch trị giá 1,8 triệu usd rơi vào nhà...

Josua Hutagalung, 33, was at home when the football-sized meteorite smashed through the veranda (hiên, hè, hành lang) at the edge of his living room (phòng khách).

Experts have hailed the 4.5billion-year-old space rock as one of the most significant meteorite finds ever - saying it could contain elements which give clues (manh mối) to the origins of life (nguồn gốc sự sống).

Josua, of Kolang, in North Sumatra, has already sold the rock to a specialist collector - given him enough money to retire and build a new church in his village.

...He was given the equivalent of 30 years' salary for the 2.2kg rock.

Người vượn hiện đại

cấy gene người vào bào thai khỉ -> não chúng to hơn...
In an experiment (thí nghiệm) that could portend (báo trước, điềm báo) a real-life Planet of the Apes situation, scientists spliced human genes into the fetus of a monkey to substantially increase the size of the primate’s brain. And it worked.

Researchers from Germany’s Max Planck Institute of Molecular Cell Biology and Genetics in Germany and Japan’s Central Institute for Experimental Animals introduced a specifically human gene, ARHGAP11B, into the fetus (bào thai) of a common marmoset monkey, causing the enlargement (mở rộng, tăng lên, khuếch trương) of its brain’s neocortex.

Bài trước: Như trong phim

Như trong phim

gã đàn ông bị truy nã trong vụ lừa đảo đa cấp 35 triệu usd cố chạy trốn fbi trên xe trượt nước...
He’s more “swim risk” than flight risk.

First, 44-year-old Matthew Piercey jumped into a pickup truck when agents went to arrest him on Monday, leading them on a wild chase before eventually abandoning the vehicle on the shores of Lake Shasta, according to federal prosecutors (công tố viên) in California.

He then grabbed a Yamaha sea scooter — a motorized submersible device that pulls users at about 4 mph — and took it into the cold waters, staying there for about 25 minutes,

Bài trước: Chuyển nhà thôi

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Chuyển nhà thôi

nước đái đóng băng rơi từ máy bay xuống trúng nóc nhà...

...Andy and Gaynor were in their garden in 2006 when an 18 inch-wide block of frozen urine  (nước đái đóng băng) crashed on to their roof – just 4ft from where Andy stood.

At the time, Andy said: “There was a big bang and it hit the ridge tiles on the roof, then the patio (hành lang lộ thiên, sân trong).

“It would have killed me if it had hit me, without a doubt.”

The lump of blue ice caused hundreds of pounds of damage to their roof, scattering tiles on to the patio below.

“It looks like frozen wee. I would think it’s chemically treated (xử lý bằng hóa chất), but when it thawed (tan chảy) out on the patio it didn’t smell very pleasant.

Bài trước: Eo ôi, khiếp!

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Eo ôi, khiếp!

lễ hội 'ném phân bò' ở ấn độ :D
Dozens of exuberant (cởi mở, hồ hởi) villagers scooped up (xúc, múc) handfuls of cow dung (phân bò) to mold (đúc, nặn) and toss (quăng, thả, ném, tung) at each other like snowballs this week for the Gorehabba festival, a local conclusion to India's most important festival (lễ hội), Diwali.

Similar to Spain's "La Tomatina" -- an eccentric tomato-hurling celebration of the local fruit -- residents of Gumatapura village instead fling something more earthy at each other: cow dung.

The festival is unique to a village where locals believe their god -- Beereshwara Swamy -- was born in cow excrement.

Some Hindus believe cows and everything they produce is sacred and purifying. Hindu nationalist Prime Minister Narendra Modi has pushed for greater protection of the beasts, and many Indian states have long banned (cấm) their slaughter for meat (giết lấy thịt).

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

CSGT Hà Lan nâng cao nghiệp vụ công tác

giấu camera trong toalet di động để bắt người vi phạm tốc độ :D
The police have started hiding traffic cameras in portable toilets across the Netherlands. This system - using a so-called Dixiflits, an amalgamation (sự pha trộn, trộn lẫn) of the Dutch words for portable toilet (dixi) and traffic camera (flits) - was apparently used for the first time back in 2019 near Almere. To make the seemingly randomly-placed toilet look less conspicuous (dễ thấy, đáng chú ý), police placed it on a trailer (xe mooc) hooked onto a van.

A little unconventional perhaps, but undoubtedly effective. 

...Other unconventional yet successful methods used by police to catch speeders in the act include hiding cameras in wheelie bins, advertising pillars (cột biển quảng cáo), and a variety of inconspicuous cars, vans, and trailers. 

Huyền thoại con chim

bồ câu về nhất cuộc thi được (người china) mua với giá gần 2 triệu usd...
New Kim is worth her weight in gold and then some — actually much, much more.

A wealthy Chinese pigeon (chim bồ câu) racing fan put down a record price of 1.6 million euros ($1.9 million) for the Belgian-bred bird, saying a lot more than merely what kind of money can be made in the once-quaint (có vẻ cổ, là lạ) sport, which seemed destined to decline only a few years back.

During a frantic last half hour Sunday at the end of a two-week auction at the Pipa pigeon center, two Chinese bidders operating under the pseudonyms (biệt hiệu, bút danh) Super Duper and Hitman drove up the price by 280,000 euros ($325,000), leaving the previous record that Belgian-bred Armando fetched last year well behind by 350,000 euros ($406,000).

Super Duper got the hen, and behind the pseudonym is said to be the same wealthy Chinese industrialist who already had Armando, allowing for breeding with the two expensive birds.

It was proof again that an age-old hobby in Western Europe identified with working-class men now has a new, elitist foreign lease on life. Top breeders relying on generations of family experience can now sell their birds for prices unheard of merely a decade ago, and often China is their destination.

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Không thì làm sao gọi Uber được

nasa tài trợ 14,1 triệu usd cho nokia để xây dựng mạng lưới điện thoại 4g trên mặt trăng :D

That project was part of $370 million in new contracts for lunar surface research missions NASA announced Wednesday. Most of the money went to large space companies like SpaceX and United Launch Alliance to perfect techniques to make and handle rocket (tên lửa) propellant (chất nổ đẩy) in space.

The space agency must quickly develop new technologies for living and working on the moon if it wants to realize its goal to have astronauts (phi hành gia) working at a lunar base by 2028, NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine said in a live broadcast.

Cũng ghét tiếp thị rác lắm

nghiên cứu ở úc cho thấy: bò cảm thấy thư giãn hơn khi nghe trực tiếp từ người hơn là nghe ghi âm sẵn qua loa :D

The farm animals prefer face-to-face chat, new research from Austria suggests. Cows are more relaxed after being spoken to directly by a live human rather than when listening to a recorded voice (giọng nói ghi âm sẵn) via a loudspeaker (loa), researchers found.

"Our study suggests that live talking is more relaxing for our animals than a recording of a human voice," said Annika Lange, a doctoral student (nghiên cứu sinh tiến sĩ) at the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna and author of the study, in a press statement.

"Interactions may be less positive when they become artificial."

Còn lựa chọn nào đâu

xả súng ở kfc vì phục vụ món sai...

Investigators say that customer went through the drive-through of a KFC on Winchester Road in Hickory Hill on Saturday, then went back to the restaurant minutes later because his order (gọi món, đặt hàng) was wrong.

the man got out of a semi-truck he was driving and walked up to the drive-through window demanding a refund. Surveillance video (camera giám sát) shows an employee giving the man his money back but the customer was still upset and fired shots into the restaurant while driving away.

The bullets shattered a side window and penetrated (xuyên) several walls. Thankfully, no one was hit by gunfire (nổ súng).

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Tôi cũng muốn tham gia

thanh niên 33 tuổi đang đứng chờ xe buýt ở new york thì nắp cống toác, rơi lọt thỏm xuống luôn...

Leonard Shoulders, 33, was waiting for a bus on Third Ave. near E. 183rd St. in Belmont Saturday afternoon when the concrete sidewalk suddenly cracked open and swallowed (nuốt chửng) him.

“As he was falling, he scraped (xây xát, xước, bị thương) his face, broke his arm and broke his leg. He couldn’t move, and the rats were crawling (bò, trườn) all over him. He didn’t scream, because he didn’t want the rats going into his mouth.”

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Không ai bị bắt là sao

cãi nhau khi chơi cờ vua -> bị đâm vào mông...

Sgt. Kenneth Jarrett said police were called to an apartment on Mohawk Court on the report of an assault after 5 a.m. Saturday.

The 51-year-old victim said he knew only the first name of the man who stabbed him, and refused to give police any more information.

Con người của hành động

làm đổ nến khi đuổi gấu trúc nên... cháy rụi cả nhà :D

The fire occurred on West Evans Road north of Prosser on Sunday morning.

...a 38-year-old man was in the trailer when he became frustrated with (chán nản, thất vọng) a family of raccoons living under the house. the man accidentally knocked over a candle (nến) during the commotion (sự rối loạn; cuộc bạo động, cuộc khởi nghĩa) which started a fire.

Firefighters arrived on the scene to find the trailer home mostly engulfed in flames (nhận chìm trong biển lửa).

Bài trước: Có lẽ nào

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Có lẽ nào

em gái bị cảnh sát bắt vì xâm nhập trạm xăng, khi bị hỏi tên thì liên tục nói rằng 'tên tôi là đánh rắm'... :))
Last week, police in St. Petersburg Florida were arresting a woman for trespassing in a gas station and repeatedly kept asking for her name.

The woman would just not comply, however, and for as many times as police would ask her name, she would tell them it was "My butt just farted." 

Well, unfortunately for Ms. "My butt just farted," she had her last name tattooed on her back, so it wasn't long before police found out she was really 33-year-old Melinda Lynn Guerrero. Police believe she may have been under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol during the incident.

Đây là lời cảm ơn từ cảnh sát

bị bắt vì gọi 911 cảnh báo người ngoài hành tinh xâm nhập...

...The Vero Beach resident added that he did not want “to go Independence Day on them,” an apparent (rõ rành rành, dường như)  reference (đề cập, tham chiếu) to the movie starring Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, and Bill Pullman.

In the 1996 film, an invasion (xâm nhập, xâm lược) by alien (người ngoài hành tinh) aircraft (máy bay) is repelled (bị đẩy lùi), but not before earthlings (sinh vật trên trái đất) suffer widespread death and destruction (including the incineration of poor Harvey Fierstein).

Bài trước: FloridAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Monday, October 26, 2020


bị bắt do đánh bạn cùng phòng vì... giữ lại chuột chết trong máy ướp lạnh để cho rắn ăn :D
A Marathon man attacked his roommate (bạn cùng phòng) with a baseball bat (gậy đánh bóng chày), the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says, and the victim says the beating was over a dead rodent he was keeping in their freezer (máy ướp lạnh, máy làm kem) to feed a pet snake (con rắn làm vật nuôi).

Javier Francisco Arellano, 59, was arrested (bị bắt giữ) early Sunday morning and faces a charge (đối mặt với bản án) of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon (vũ khí chết người).

Authorities say the victim, a 57-year-old man, was taken to Fishermen’s Hospital and then airlifted to a Miami hospital “with injuries that required staples to his head.” He also suffered injuries to his legs, arms and hands, investigators say.

Bài trước: Nghe quen quen

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Nghe quen quen

cảnh sát delhi tịch thu 160kg cần sa chỉ báo cáo 1kg, bán sạch phần còn lại lấy tiền chia nhau...

The four cops including two sub-inspectors and two head constables (nguyên soái; đốc quân, đốc hiệu) from Jahangirnagar police station conducted a raid in which 160 kg marijuana was confiscated on September 11. The peddler was also arrested but police reported that the man was let off after giving a bribe of Rs 1,5 lakh. The bribe was allegedly given to "settle the matter" outside the purview of the law.

Bài trước: Mất trí hết rồi

Friday, October 23, 2020

Mất trí hết rồi

xây cầu dành riêng cho sóc qua đường...
Hungry red squirrels (sóc), who once risked their lives (mạo hiểm tính mạng) to feast on hazelnuts in the woods, can now dine safely in Northumberland.

Every day already endangered (gây nguy hiểm) squirrels would make the treacherous (lừa dối, xảo trá, không tin được; nguy hiểm) trip from their home in East Cramlington Nature Reserve across the busy road to Seghill woods.

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