Bất lịch sự thế

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Dear Dan,

After so many months of isolation (cách ly), I am bewildered (bối rối, hoang mang, lúng túng, ngơ ngác) to observe that many people experience the compulsive need (nhu cầu thôi thúc) to check their phones at cafes or restaurants, completely ignoring (phớt lờ) their friends and family. Why do people engage in such rude behavior?

—Alan

The phenomenon you are describing—using one’s smartphone during face-to-face interactions—has been termed phone snubbing or “phubbing.” Most people perceive it to be rude, and it can have serious repercussions (dội lại, tác động trở lại, hậu quả) for the level of satisfaction in a friendship. But it often has more to do with the phubber’s personality than with lack of interest in the conversation.

In a 2021 study of young adults, the authors found that depressed (trầm cảm, lo âu) and socially anxious (lo lắng) people are more likely to phub their friends. This is likely explained by the fact that people with social anxiety find online communication less uncomfortable than in-person conversations. On the other hand, phubbing is less common among people who score high on “agreeableness,” which psychologists defined as striving to avoid conflict. Agreeable people make an effort to be polite and friendly in order to maintain social harmony.

If you find it hard to resist looking at your phone even while in company, what can you do? An easy solution is to turn off your text and email notifications, so you won’t be tempted to look at each incoming message. Even better, put your phone on airplane mode. If you want a polite way to suggest that a meal should be phone-free, deliberately place your phone with the screen down in the middle of the table, signaling to the other people in your group to do the same.

Bài trước: Cho kẹo hay bị ghẹo