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Here’s one way to ensure (đảm bảo) you have a happy and healthy XXXmas.

A United Kingdom doctor is raising eyebrows across social media by warning people of the dangers of masturbating (thủ dâm) with ornaments (đồ trang trí) come Christmastime — which is apparently an actual trend (xu hướng).

“It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments,” Dr. Sarah Welsh, a gynecologist (bác sĩ phụ khoa), told NeedToKnow.Online. She was listing the dildo’s and don’ts of the scandalous (khiếm nhã, đáng hổ thẹn, đáng kinh tởm) Yuletide tradition, which sees people hospitalized after getting frisky with everything from glass baubles (bóng treo cây thông) to candy canes.

Indeed, trying to make Christmas come early with ornaments is apparently hazardous to one’s health.

“Christmas ornaments can have sharp aspects or pieces that can break during masturbation, which can cause soreness (đau nhức, rát), the risk of trauma and are just generally unsuitable for your vagina (âm đạo),” warned Welsh, who co-founded the condom brand Hanx. In other words, leave your elf on the shelf come Christmastime.

Even Christmas confections pose a threat “due to the hygiene issues, concern about pieces breaking off, or the sugar content of items such as candy canes,” the gyno warned holiday pleasure hunters. “Anything with sugar in it, such as Christmas confectionery, should also stay well away from the vagina as this disrupts the delicate ecosystem of the vaginal microbiome and can predispose you to vaginal thrush infections.”

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