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police received a call on Monday morning about "a human penis" that had been discovered at Midtown Mobile, a gas station in Mobile, Alabama.

Perhaps even more surprising than that initial report was Lagniappe's follow-up report, which claimed, "As of 4 p.m. Monday, Jan. 30, the Mobile Police Department stated the incident is not being investigated as an assault or murder."

...police also offered a reasonable explanation for why they do not suspect foul play in the case. Earlier that morning, 29-year-old Christopher Means had been riding his motorcycle "Southbound on I-65" when he attempted to merge onto I-10, a police report stated. Unfortunately while on the I-10 ramp, Means lost control of his motorcycle and was thrown into traffic.

"Multiple vehicles" allegedly struck the victim, who was pronounced dead at the scene, but only one driver remained in the area to discuss the circumstances surrounding the fatality with police. Investigators are still searching for the other drivers who were involved.

The penis discovered at the gas station is believed to belong to Mr. Means, though how it may have gotten there remains unclear, as the gas station appears to be located a considerable distance from the I-65/I-10 interchange.

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