Vì sao tình bạn tuổi trưởng thành ngày càng buồn tẻ

ví dụ, trước, thích thì cứ qua nhà nhau chơi, ko ai đợi trước, bất ngờ, funny, nếu đúng bữa ăn thì kéo ghế ngồi cùng, nếu đến sớm thì giúp một tay phụ bếp v.v...

giờ, muốn gặp phải hẹn trước hàng tuần, chủ nhà chuẩn bị dọn dẹp, nấu món đặc biệt, người đến phải ăn mặc lịch sự, quà cáp (mang gì cho đỡ ngượng tay)...

có lẽ nên sống thoáng trở lại, kỳ vọng ít thôi... :)

-----

Dear Dan,

I have lots of friends who grew up outside the U.S., and they often tell me that their social lives here aren't as good as they were in their home countries. Are they just romanticizing (lãng mạn hóa) their homelands (quê nhà), or are we Americans doing something wrong in our social relationships?

—Wendi

I agree with your friends—and I don't think their memories are just biased and romanticized. Social life in the U.S. isn't as good as it could be because Americans try too hard to be social.

I grew up in Israel, where friends simply stop by (đơn giản là ghé qua nhà chơi) unannounced (không báo trước). This means that, as a host, you aren't prepared, and no one expects to you to be. In this mutual low-expectations setup, visitors simply get integrated into whatever is going on. If they show up at dinnertime, they pull up a chair; if they come beforehand, they help chop vegetables.

In the U.S., on the other hand, we plan to see someone in seven weeks at 8 p.m., and everyone gears up for the occasion. The hosts clean the house and cook something special; the guests dress up and bring a gift. The whole process demands much more effort, and we therefore do it much less frequently. Maybe we should all lower our expectations and raise our appreciation for serendipity in our social lives.

Bài trước: Bí quyết để chồng chịu "xì" lương ra