Vợ ở nhà nội trợ

'đàn ông xây nhà, đàn bà xây tổ ấm'

mở tài khoản chung cho mọi thu nhập, chi tiêu trong gia đình; và hai tài khoản tiết kiệm riêng cho hai người (chia đều nhau)
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Dear Dan,

Many women don't feel recognized for all the work they do at home. When their husbands come home late from the office to something other than total bedlam (bệnh viện tâm thần, nhà thương điên; cảnh hỗn loạn ồn ào), the oblivious (lãng quên, không nhớ tới; không biết, mù tịt) men often fail to provide any appreciation or recognition. Would it help if women got paid for their housework? And if so, what is the best way to set up those payments?
—Lisa

I can't think of any context in which one partner in a family should directly pay the other. But we do need to make sure that earning inequality doesn't turn into power inequality.

One of the best (and worst) things about money is that it is easy to measure (dễ đo đếm). So each partner's financial contributions (đóng góp tài chính) to the household are very clear, and differences can be overemphasized (quá chú trọng, nhấn mạnh quá mức).

Consider a couple in which Person A earns much more than Person B, but Person B does everything else for the household. In such a case, A's contribution to the relationship is easily quantified (bringing home most of the bacon), whereas B's bit (taking care of the house, raising the children, dealing with paperwork, bills and so on) can't be measured as precisely.

If the couple focuses on what's easy to measure, A's contribution looks more central. So A could feel more deserving, entitled and commanding while contributing less overall.

There is no magical solution to this problem, but one good step is to deal directly with the flow of money. Start by having one joint checking account for all income and ongoing expenses. On top of that, open two separate savings accounts (one for each partner), and split all savings equally into them.

Legally speaking, this type of accounting doesn't make any difference, but in psychological terms, it makes a key statement about equality in financial contributions. It could weaken the link between financial contribution and power and offer a more holistic (thuộc chính thể luận) view of contributions to family life.

Tags: marriage

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