Tìm quán cafe hẹn hò riêng tư

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Dear Dan,

Why do young people on dates go to loud, crowded places? The dim light prevents the couple from talking to each other and eliminates any possibility that they will actually get to know one other better. So what's the point? 

~Amanda

Have you considered the possibility that these daters are not interested in getting to know each other better?

More seriously, noisy and crowded places help daters in many ways—most clearly by masking (giấu giếm, che kín) awkward silences (im lặng ngượng ngùng). If the could-be-couple runs out of topics (hết chuyện) from time to time, they can have the illusion (tưởng rằng) that the silence isn't due to their inability to keep up a lively conversation (chuyện trò vui vẻ, sôi nổi) and chalk it up to the difficulty of talking over the music or their fascination with the song being played.

A second benefit of such date venues: The noisy surroundings give couples an excuse to get physically closer to each other in order to be heard. A loud bar may even give them permission to talk into their date's ear. (Permission to nibble (gặm, nhắm, rỉa) is up to the date.)

Finally, music and crowds have been found to be very effective in creating general arousal. Yes, arousal (gợi tình, hứng tình). With noise and people all around them, our daters may feel more aroused as well—and, more importantly, they may attribute this emotional state to the person they're with. (Social scientists call this "misattribution of emotions.") To the extent that people confuse the emotions created by the environment with the emotions created by the person sitting next to them, going out to loud, busy places could well be a winning strategy. I hope this explains the mystery—and inspires you to start going on dates in noisy places.

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