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Dear Dan,

I have worked very hard for most of my life, and I am getting to feel more secure (an toàn) and comfortable (thoải mái). But I don't feel as happy as I expected, given all my achievements (thành tựu) and financial success (thành công về tài chính). I am not one of those hippies who think that money is not important, but it feels like something is missing (thiếu cái gì đó). What am I doing wrong?

—Matt

Don't worry. The fact that your financial achievements have not brought you contentment does not mean that you're a hippie. Social scientists have long been troubled by the finding that people basically think money will bring them happiness but it does so less than they expect.

There are two possibilities: First, that money cannot buy happiness. Second, that money can buy some happiness, but people just don't know how to use it that way. The good news is that this seems to be the correct answer.

In their fascinating book "Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending," Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton say there are two ways to get more happiness out of our money. The first is to buy less stuff and more experiences. We buy a sofa instead of a ski trip (chuyến đi trượt tuyết), not taking into account that we will get used to the sofa very quickly and that it will stop being a source of happiness, while the vacation will likely stay in our minds for a long time.

Second, and more interesting, Drs. Dunn and Norton demonstrate that we just don't give enough money away. Which of these would make you happier: buying a cup of fancy coffee for yourself, buying one for a stranger, or buying one for a good friend? Buying a cup of coffee for yourself is the worst. Buying for a stranger will linger in your mind and make you happier for a longer time, and buying for a friend is the best—it would also increase your social connection (kết nối xã hội), friendship (tình bạn) and long-run happiness.

So money can buy happiness—if we use it right.

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